I Am Not Your Friend I Am Your Parent

I really do not want to be friends with my kids, and I am okay with that. Some people will say that may sound a bit harsh, but, I think differently. I often need to remind my self and my children – I am not your friend, I am your parent. It is not my job to be best friends with my children. It is my job to make sure that my kids are provided for, and make sure that they are taught what is right and what is wrong. It is my job is to teach my children how to become great human beings. It is my job to teach them that nothing is going to be handed to them and if they want something they have to work for it.

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I often think that I’m a bad father because of this philosophy. I am sure some of you may agree. However, I have come to the realization that I’m okay with that. I am okay with my kids thinking I am not their best friend. I am okay with my kids thinking that I am hard on them. I am okay with my kids being upset that they’re disciplined. I am okay with the fact that you may not agree with that.

All too often in this day of age we are hypersensitive and Politically correct. However, being politically correct is not going to give my children the best shot at life. It is going to cripple them. It is going to hinder them in the long run.

I love my children with all my heart and I want nothing but the best for them. That is why I feel it is so important to be conscious of how I am interacting with my children. It is okay to have a fun and loving relationship, however, there is a fine line between parenting and friendship.

As a child did you ever uttered those famous words… “What do you think you’re my mother or something” or “I don’t have to listen to you. You’re not my dad!”

I’m sure we all have. That’s because as children we knew we had to listen to our parents, but we also knew that our friends could not discipline us in the same way.

That’s the problem we run into whenever our children think we are their friends. Consciously they know we are their parents, subconsciously they are thinking, who do you think you are correcting me…
You’re not my dad, you’re my friend.

At the end of the day I want to be the best father that I possibly can be. Sometimes, that means I need to be the bad guy. I need to be the guy that they’re mad at. I need to be the guy that just “is not fair”.

On the other hand, I also need to be the guy that they want to talk to. The guy that they know they can come to. The guy who they respect, but are not scared of.

It is a fine line and I pray daily that I am able to see where that line is and balance the proper amount of discipline with the proper amount of love.

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